I’ve been thinking a lot about grief today. Probably because my dear father-in-law unexpectedly passed away yesterday morning. As I’ve sat with my own swirling emotions the last 24 hours, I’ve also witnessed the heartache of my husband, his siblings, our nieces and nephews, my mother-in-law, his grandmother, aunts, uncles—and our own children.
So yes, my heart is heavy. And my thoughts have been drawn deeply to the experience of losing loved ones and what it means to grieve—especially as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I want to say something clearly, and from a place of real experience:
It’s okay to grieve the loss of our loved ones.
Sometimes we unintentionally believe that if we truly have a testimony of the Plan of Salvation—if we really believe in eternal families and the Resurrection—then maybe we shouldn’t feel so broken when someone we love dies. Like somehow grief means our faith is lacking.
But that’s not true.
Yes, as members of the Church, we understand that this life is just a moment in the span of eternity. We know that we lived before this life as spirit children of God, and that through the Atonement and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, we will live again. We understand the sealing power, and the promise that families can be forever.
Should this understanding shape how we view death? Absolutely.
But it doesn’t erase the ache of loss. And it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t mourn.
The Plan of Salvation gives us hope. It gives us peace. It offers perspective. But it doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to feel the pain of not hearing a loved one’s voice again in this life. Or the grief of knowing there will be an empty seat at the dinner table, a hug we’ll miss for years to come, or advice we’ll no longer receive.
Even though we believe in forever, we still feel the very real heartache of missing them today.
And that’s okay.
The Savior Showed Us How to Grieve
Jesus Wept (James Tissot c. 1886-1894). Brooklyn Museum, New York City
In John 11, when Jesus learned that His beloved friend Lazarus had died, He traveled to be with his grieving sisters, Mary and Martha. Both told Him, through their tears, that if He had come sooner, their brother would still be alive.
Jesus could have corrected them. He could’ve simply said, “Don’t worry—I’m about to raise him from the dead.” And eventually, He did perform that miracle.
But first?
He wept.
He sat with their sorrow. He mourned with His friends. Even though He knew the ending, He still felt the pain of the moment.
This is the same Savior who asks us, as His disciples, to “mourn with those that mourn” and “comfort those that stand in need of comfort.” (Mosiah 18:9)
Not brush over pain with platitudes. Not rush to solutions. But to sit in the grief, and offer our presence and compassion.
The Savior Knows How to Comfort You
In Alma 7, we learn one of the most beautiful and intimate truths about Jesus Christ: that He suffered every kind of pain so He would know how to comfort us perfectly. Not in theory. Not from a distance. But personally.
“And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind…that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” (Alma 7:11–12)
He understands grief. He has felt your aching heart. He knows how to comfort you, right now.
So How Can We Access That Comfort?
In the rawness of loss, when the questions and emotions swirl and the ache feels sharp—what can we do? How do we open ourselves to the peace the Savior offers?
Here are some gentle suggestions that I’m reminding myself of today:
1. Remind Yourself of the Plan of Salvation
Even if you’ve taught it, studied it, and testified of it—it helps to go back and read the scriptures, listen to talks, or reread your patriarchal blessing. Let those eternal truths wrap around your hurting heart.
2. Pray Honestly
Pour your heart out to Heavenly Father. Not the polished version—just the real one. Tell Him you’re hurting. Ask for comfort. Ask to feel His presence. Let prayer be your safe space to grieve with God.
3. Allow Others to Serve You
Let the meals come. Let the hugs in. Let the texts and flowers and small acts of love soften the edges of grief. God often sends His comfort through others.
4. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve
Even Jesus wept. Grieving doesn’t mean your faith is weak. It means your love was strong. Don’t rush to feel “okay.” Grief takes time.
5. Give Yourself Grace and Time
There’s no timeline for grief. Some days may feel lighter than others. Let them. And on the days that feel heavy again, be kind to yourself.
6. Turn to the Scriptures
Especially the Book of Mormon. There’s a unique comfort that comes from reading God’s word in times of sorrow. The Spirit speaks with power through those pages, especially when our hearts are broken open.
7. Spend Time with Christ in Quiet Moments
That might look like a walk, quiet journaling, time in the temple, or simply sitting still. The Savior often speaks peace in the stillness. Let yourself be still long enough to hear Him.
If you are grieving today—whether the loss is new or the ache has been with you for years—I hope you feel this:
You’re not alone. You’re not weak for feeling sorrow. And the Savior is walking this path with you.
There is room in the gospel for your grief.
And in the middle of it, there is also real, lasting peace.
Let’s mourn with each other. Let’s comfort each other. And let’s remember that even in grief, we are never without hope.
If this spoke to you today, feel free to share or comment below. Sometimes just knowing someone else understands makes all the difference.
