The temple is the Lord’s house—a place of peace, order, and holiness—and by following its example, we can pattern our homes to become sanctuaries filled with the Spirit.
Not every house or residence is truly a home. A home is more than just a roof over our heads or a place to eat and sleep. A home is a sanctuary—a refuge from the world, a place of safety, belonging, and love. When you step into a real home, you feel the difference. The Spirit lingers there.
Growing up, my deepest desire was to be a wife and mother. I dreamed about creating a home—a gathering place for family and friends, a safe haven for my children, a place filled with good books, art, music, laughter, kind words, and delicious food. I knew a home like that didn’t just “happen.” It would take intention and effort.
As I got older, I became fascinated by the idea that our homes could be patterned after the temple. The temple is the Lord’s house. Could our homes, in their own way, reflect the same sacredness while still being lived in, with children running, toys scattered, and life happening? I believe they can.
Years ago, before I was married, I had the privilege of serving as an ordinance worker in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. That year was one of the sweetest blessings of my life. Working there gave me a unique perspective on what the temple truly represents.
When I was recently asked to teach a mini class at Relief Society about “home,” my thoughts kept circling back to this idea: How can we pattern our homes after the temple? Here are 10 principles that stood out to me (though surely there are many more).
1. A House of Learning
The temple is often called a “house of learning,” and I love that. Inside its walls, eternal truths are taught and revealed. Ordinances themselves are a form of learning, layer upon layer, showing us who we are and what God’s plan is for His children.
When I think of learning, I can’t help but think of the home I grew up in. We had floor-to-ceiling bookshelves in nearly every room, and they were overflowing with good and great books on every topic you could imagine. Because I had access to so many, I developed a love of reading and a hunger to keep learning. Some of my favorite memories are of long conversations with my parents—conversations that spanned everything from spiritual truths to history, science, art, and philosophy. Those talks shaped me as much as the books themselves.
My mother was also a deeply creative woman. She was always learning new skills and then using them to create beautiful and useful things for our family. That love of creativity became part of me too, and it continues to bless my life today.
Music was another teacher in our home. Growing up, most of what I heard was classical, church music, or oldies. Those genres taught me to appreciate harmony, beauty, and calm. Over time, I’ve also come to love many other kinds of music—rock, pop, alternative, instrumental, and vocal. I think each has its place. Music has the power to teach, soothe, and inspire, but I’ve also learned how important it is to be mindful of the content of what we listen to.
When I picture a house of learning, it’s not just about quiet study—it’s about conversation, creativity, music, and discovery. It’s about a spirit of curiosity paired with the gospel of Jesus Christ. President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, “In our homes let us have learning of the highest quality, and let us make them centers of faith, where the Spirit of the Lord may dwell.” That’s exactly the kind of learning I want to cultivate in my home.
2. Centered on Family
So many sacred ordinances and covenants take place in the temple, and they all lead to one beautiful culmination—being sealed to our spouse and family for time and all eternity. That sealing ordinance is the heart of the temple and the heart of our homes.
But the blessings don’t stop with the living. In the temple, we also perform ordinances for those who have already passed on. This is the living fulfillment of Malachi’s prophecy that the hearts of the children would be turned to their fathers and the fathers to their children. Each time we do temple work on behalf of our ancestors, we free them to progress spiritually, but I believe they, in turn, are freed to bless and strengthen us. There is a real power in those connections between generations.
That’s why I want my home to be centered on family—both the family who gathers around my table and the family who has gone before. Protecting family time, creating traditions, and forgiving one another quickly are all ways to mirror the eternal perspective we’re reminded of every time we walk through the temple doors.
3. A Spirit of Service
One of the things I love most about the temple is how service is woven into everything. We first go to the temple to receive ordinances and make covenants for ourselves—but then we return again and again to serve those who can no longer do it for themselves. Every time we walk through those doors, we go to serve. And it’s not just the patrons—so much of what happens in the temple is made possible by countless ordinance workers who quietly, lovingly give of their time. Everyone has to work together. That spirit of united service is what makes the temple function, and I love that.
I believe the same principle applies at home. When we serve in our homes, we strengthen our relationships with our loved ones. If we only focus on what we want, we start to pull apart. But when we look for ways to serve each other and meet each other’s needs, our hearts grow, and we begin to see our family members more like the Savior sees them. After all, He taught that the greatest commandment is to love God with all our hearts, and the second is to love our neighbor as ourselves. Service is love in action.
In a home, service doesn’t have to be grand or complicated—it can be folding someone’s laundry, helping with dinner, listening with kindness, or putting someone else’s needs first. And of course, that spirit of service can extend outside our homes as well, through ministering, volunteering, or simply being willing to help where help is needed. A home where service is practiced daily becomes a home filled with Christlike love.
4. A Place of Beauty
When you look at the temple, each building—though some share similar designs—is uniquely beautiful. From the architecture itself to the breathtaking windows to the carefully maintained grounds, every detail is intentional. And then you step inside, and the feeling deepens. The paint colors, the woodwork, the chandeliers, the carpets, the artwork—everything has been carefully chosen to reflect not only beauty, but also the importance of the sacred work that happens within those walls.
Another thing I’ve always noticed is how temples are filled with light. They are clean, uncluttered, and reverent. Nothing feels out of place. Everything has a purpose, and all the parts work together to create an atmosphere where the Spirit can dwell.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that keeping our homes like that is sometimes next to impossible—especially with children. Toys scatter, dishes pile up, and life is messy. But even so, I believe we can strive to make our homes places of beauty. It doesn’t mean perfection, and it certainly doesn’t mean spending a lot of money. It means choosing light over darkness, order over chaos, and peace over distraction. It means keeping things reasonably clean, letting in natural light, and surrounding ourselves with things that lift and inspire—whether that’s a simple vase of flowers, a family photo, a picture of the Savior, or a piece of uplifting art.
Beauty in the home invites you to want to stay. It encourages reverence and makes space for joy. Just like the temple, our homes can be havens of holiness and places where the Spirit feels welcome.
5. Equality and Unity
One of the most powerful things about the temple is the reminder that in God’s eyes, we are all equal. Everyone wears white, no matter their background, status, or circumstance. It symbolizes that before Him, we are all His children of equal worth.
That principle carries over into the home. It is so important that each family member feels valued, seen, and loved equally. I’ve seen firsthand the pain that comes when favorites are chosen and openly preferred above others. Though I’m far from perfect, I’ve tried very hard not to do that in my own home. My children know that while I love each of them uniquely, I love all of them just as much. Every child deserves to feel secure in a parent’s love.
Unity in the home also mirrors the temple. First, we need to be unified with God and His will. That alignment with Him gives us strength. Next, unity as a couple is essential, since parents set the tone for the whole home. From there, we can work on unity with our children, listening and counseling with them, and finally, unity as an entire family that extends outward to others.
Unity takes effort. It comes as we counsel together, have regular open conversations, and seek to actively listen—not just to respond, but to understand. It comes when we are fair in our dealings with each other and when we choose to build one another up instead of tearing each other down. A family that strives for equality and unity will naturally invite the Spirit, and that spirit of peace and fairness will bless everyone who enters the home.
6. Guided Leadership
Temples are run with both structure and inspiration. While there are universal rules and instructions for how every temple must operate, much is also left to the inspiration of the temple presidency—and often their wives as well. The presidency oversees everything that happens within those sacred walls. They train the temple workers, handle problems, and make sure the temple runs smoothly so that patrons can focus on the ordinances and the Spirit.
Our homes are very similar. As parents, we have been given specific commandments and inspired counsel for raising our families, but so much is left to inspiration and personal preference. After all, who knows better how to raise your family than you do—when you’re working hand in hand with God and your spouse? When we counsel together with the Lord, He will guide us.
That leadership in the home shouldn’t be rigid or arbitrary. It’s important not only to establish house rules, but also to take time to explain the why behind them so our children understand the principles guiding our decisions. When possible, we can also counsel with our children and involve them in decision-making. This doesn’t mean they get to run the house, but it does mean they feel heard and valued—and it helps them learn how to make wise choices as they grow.
Guided leadership in the home is about love, unity, and inspiration. Just like in the temple, when leadership is done in partnership—with God, with a spouse, and with the family—the result is order, peace, and an environment where everyone can thrive.
7. A House of Worship and Prayer
When we go to the temple, yes, we receive ordinances, make covenants, and serve—but we also worship and pray. That worship and prayer are a huge part of why the Spirit feels so strong within those sacred walls. Not every single moment in the temple is spent in prayer, but there are many quiet, reverent moments where our hearts naturally turn heavenward.
Our homes can mirror that same pattern. We aren’t expected to be on our knees praying every hour of the day or walking around in constant formal worship. But we are invited to make worship and prayer a consistent and intentional part of our daily lives.
That worship doesn’t need to be complicated. It can be as simple as having personal devotionals and scripture study that fill your own inner well before you pour into others. It can be praying with and for your spouse, or kneeling with your children and teaching them how to pray themselves. It can be gathering for family scripture study, making Come, Follow Me a habit, or pausing during a busy day to stop and give thanks. Sometimes worship looks like playing uplifting music in the background, or having a heartfelt gospel discussion around the dinner table. And of course, it also looks like making Sunday different from the rest of the week—setting aside time for God and family so that it feels sacred.
Worship in the home doesn’t have to be rigid or overly formal, but it should be intentional. Just as in the temple, those moments of prayer and worship create an atmosphere where the Spirit can be felt and where hearts can be strengthened in Christ.
8. A Place of Order
When you enter the temple, you don’t see clutter or chaos. Everything has a purpose and a place. Even the way ordinances are performed is orderly and universal, no matter which temple you attend. That sense of order brings peace and reverence.
The same principle can bless our homes. When our lives are organized, things simply run more smoothly. There’s less stress, more productivity, and a greater sense of calm. Of course, establishing a house of order is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Yes, there are certain universal principles we’ve been asked to follow—like holding family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening—but so much is left to inspiration and personal preference. What works beautifully for my family may not work for yours, and that’s okay. Sometimes we try to implement a system or tradition and it just doesn’t stick. The key is to keep trying until we find the right rhythm.
For us, that’s meant experimenting with different approaches to chores, routines, and schedules. I’ve learned to seek inspiration from others, pray about what might fit our family, and then test it out until we find what feels right. Order takes effort—it’s about building habits and maintaining them over time. But when we do, the Spirit is more present, and our family thrives.
Part of establishing a house of order is also physical: organizing, cleaning, and decluttering. If your home ever feels heavy or oppressive, it may be time for a deep clean-out. Every few months, we try to re-evaluate what we have and decide if it still serves a purpose. If it doesn’t, we ask if it should be trashed, donated, or sold. Making sure that everything has a place and a use brings such relief.
Right now, our family is living with extended family, which means we don’t have complete control over the whole home—only our personal spaces. On top of that, we have all the things we need for work, homeschooling, and everyday life. If we aren’t careful, our rooms can quickly get overrun. Because of this, we’ve had to be extra diligent about regularly reassessing what we have and letting go of anything that isn’t truly necessary. It takes work, but the peace that comes with order is always worth it.
9. A Home of Covenants and Commitment
I am so grateful for the sacred ordinances I’ve received in the temple and the covenants I have made with God. They are treasures to me. But I’ll be the first to admit—keeping those covenants takes real work and daily commitment. The world is filled with influences that try to pull us away from honoring those promises or even valuing them at all.
And yet, covenants provide safety, peace, and strength. They anchor us when life feels uncertain. They guide us when choices are unclear. They bind us to God and to our families in ways nothing else can.
I believe we can carry that spirit of covenant-making into our homes by openly living our covenants and teaching our children how to prepare for their own. Yes, there are sacred things from the temple we don’t share outside its walls, but there is so much we can talk about. We can explain why we make the choices we do—what we wear, what we drink, what we indulge in, what we watch, how we live day by day—and connect those choices back to the covenants we’ve made with God. When our children see us honoring those promises without grumbling, cutting corners, or looking for loopholes, they learn that covenants are not restrictions, but blessings.
Every day life gives us countless opportunities to practice commitment: keeping our word, following through on promises, showing integrity in little things, and choosing loyalty to God and to each other. These small daily acts reinforce the bigger covenants we’ve made. And in doing so, we remind our families that covenants aren’t only made in holy temples—they are also lived, every single day, in holy homes.
10. A Refuge of the Spirit
The temple is a refuge from the world. It is built as a place apart, a holy sanctuary where we leave the world outside when we enter in. I love the feeling that washes over me the moment I step through its doors—it’s as if a weight or burden is temporarily lifted from my shoulders. For a few precious hours, the noise and heaviness of the world fade away, and peace fills their place.
Our homes can—and should—be a refuge in the very same way. To create that kind of safe haven, we need to set up clear boundaries. Boundaries may feel restrictive at first, but in reality, they bring security, especially for children and youth. Yes, they will push against them, but when they realize those boundaries don’t budge, they actually feel safer.
These boundaries aren’t just about what media we allow inside our homes, but also about what kind of behavior we cultivate. They include how we speak to each other, how we treat each other, and what attitudes we bring through the door. A home patterned after the temple should be a place where kindness is spoken, respect is given, and love is the foundation.
Your home should be a safe place for every member of your family—and for anyone who walks through your door. A place where conversation builds and uplifts instead of tearing down. A place where everyone feels valued, seen, and supported. When we strive for that, our homes truly become what President Boyd K. Packer described: “as sacred as the temple—if we keep them so.”
Final Thoughts
Patterning our homes after the temple doesn’t mean striving for perfection or keeping everything pristine. Life is messy. Children are loud. Dinners sometimes burn. But even in the middle of real life, we can create spaces that invite the Spirit, protect our families, and remind us of the covenants we’ve made with God. That’s the kind of home I want to build—a home that feels like a little piece of heaven on earth
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